miércoles, 1 de diciembre de 2010

Things pleasant and unpleasant that had passed in my life

Pleasant:


1 When I was 8 years old, my parents bought me my firs computer. I fellt very happy.

2 My father was working in Spain while I was studying in Rumania. He sent me a radio control car. That was a gift that I used it a lot and at the moment the car is still working.

3 Wheb I was nine I went with my family to the beach. That was my first time that I had seen the sea. The experience was very exciting.

Unpleasant:

1 At seven years old a friend of mine died in an accident. I felt very disappointed because he was a nice person.

2 Many years ago my father was refurbishing the house. I was playing when I fell with my head in a sack of cement. The dust wasn´t letting me breathe. My grandmother camed and she cleaned me. After, I didn´t realize what had happened to me, but, I guess if my grandma had not been there, now, I would be dead.

3 Next to my house there was living an old, bad, woman. She was always throwing me stones. All my childhood was influenced in a bad way for that reason. Every night I used to have nightmares.

1 comentario:

  1. Good. But please don't ever write something like 'At nine years old...'. You can just say 'When I was nine,...'

    'That was my first time that I SAW the sea', not 'had seen'.

    'I felt very discussed because he was a nice person'.
    Mmmm, I don't understand what you mean by 'discussed'. 'Discuss' means 'tratar, charlar o debatir (sobre un tema)'.

    And you shouldn't make this kind of mistakes again:
    'when I FELL with my head...'. 'Felt' is the past tense of 'feel'!!!

    'My grandmother CAME...', not 'camed'!!!

    You can't say 'After,...'. You have to say 'After that,...' or 'Afterwards,...'!!!

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